After all was said and done, a person who I used to care very much about confirmed that they no longer wanted to be my friend. I don't know whether they were unable to put forth a consistent effort to be a friend or if deep down in their heart, they simply didn't care. But really, the reason doesn't matter. I can hold my head high knowing that I did everything I could do to be the best possible friend to this individual. I forgave this person multiple times and gave them numerous chances to right their wrongs against me. I said prayer after prayer for this individual. Many tears were shed over this person of whom I cared so much about for so long.
But no more.
This person knew what I needed and expected in a friend. They knew me probably better than anyone else. They knew what I was all about and how my mind operated. When I realized that I was being abused emotionally, I knew things had to change. I was having trouble figuring out who I truly was inside. It took a while for the wounds to heal and for me to rediscover who the real me was. The person I believed this individual to be turned out to be nonexistent. I greatly over-idealized them. We had some good times, yes. But in the end, those were not enough to outweigh the bad times. I still held on to an ounce of hope that perhaps one day, this individual would mature and become the kind of friend I believed they truly could be to me.
But no more.
Despite all of the pain and heartache this person caused me, I believe I see what God wanted to teach me. I have such a large number of true friends in my life - true friends who have remained honest, loyal, and even-tempered. True friends who say what they mean and mean what they say. True friends who truly and completely let me be me, and accept me for who I am - not slack me down for who I am not. True friends who help me grow in my relationship with Jesus Christ. True friends who I need to keep near to me. True friends who are worth fighting for and who I can strive to be a true friend to in return.
This is not the way I hoped things would turn out, but in the end, I realize it was not my choice to make. I know in my heart that I gave 110% effort to try and establish a healthy, genuine, two-way friendship with this person. I can honestly say that I have no regrets and that I wish this person the best in whatever the future holds.
Goodbye and so long.
