It's time to dig.

I was in my IWU work van driving to one of the buildings on campus a couple of weeks ago. I always have the radio on, and this particular morning was no exception. Lately, I've been listening to WTUR 89.7, which is Taylor University's radio station. TU broadcasts their chapel services live, and I just happened to tune in while a very familiar voice was speaking. My pastor, who is an administrator and professor at TU, was the chapel speaker. He began reading a prayer by Liam Lawton, an Irish priest and songwriter, that really spoke to me and made me reflect. Here is that prayer:

Lord,

Why is it that at the most confusing time of our lives

We have to learn the most?

We have to carry so much within

We must learn to listen

We must learn to listen

All is decision

All is choice

All is question

Help me to find friends who will accept me

Help me to be strong when difficult choices come

Help me to live with values that You value

When I am anxious

When I am hurting

When I am confused

When I am lazy

When I am troubled

When I am fearful

When I am rejected

When I am ridiculed

When I am moody

When I am misunderstood

Be with me Lord

When I am happy

When I celebrate

When I win

When I fall in love

When I pass with flying colors

When I finish my assignment

When I find my place

When I belong

Be with me Lord

Teach me understanding

Teach me compassion

Teach me empathy

Teach me respect

Teach me graciousness

Teach me forgiveness

Teach me courage

That others will find in me

What I long to be

On each new day

Bless those who love me

Bless those who teach me

Bless those who befriend me

Bless those who accept me

Bless my family and friends

All who know me

May all that I have learned

Be not in vain

For if I have never lost

I will never search again

At 26, I'm still trying to understand my place in life and where He's wanting me to go. It's confusing. It's frustrating. I flat out hate uncertainty. I can't tell you how many times I've prayed for guidance and direction with various issues in my life. I've learned that I need to stay faithful to Him during those moments of clarity as well as those times when I feel so far from Him. James 4:8 says that if we come near to Him, He will come near to us. My goal for 2011 is just that - to come near and stay near to Him. In order for God to be more real to me, I know that I need to be more real with God.

He's challenging me to dig deeper. Guess I better start digging...